They say money loves speed…so where’s the f***n money

“Money loves speed.”

I kept hearing this throughout my year of being the brokest I've ever been. My inner response was always "then, where's the fukn money?"

I move quickly. I generate energy. I activate. I ignite. I stir the field and launch before most people finish journaling their intentions.

I don't get stuck in perfectionistic stalled out loops, so… where's the money?

If the secret was speed, I should’ve been swimming in abundance. Despite the fast starts, the flow didn’t show. 

A couple of weeks ago I joined a mini course that invited me to call in money—three times a day for five days (I told you I'd let you know how it's going, so here we are). 

I asked for loans, gifts, refinances, lottery tickets, you name it. I entered sweepstakes, Any way I could imagine asking for money directly or indirectly. Then I saw the pattern in myself (two weeks later):

I’m incredible at ignition. I avoid follow-through

I avoided the phone call about the refinance. I left the loan email unread. I deleted all the Publisher's Clearing House emails without opening them.
I told myself I was “integrating,” or “waiting to see what the Universe did next," but I hadn’t decided what I wanted.

I’d stirred the soil… without choosing what to plant. I’d cracked open possibility… but left it untended

I was half avoiding and half waiting for my "intuition" to tell me what I wanted out of the options before me instead of picking a trajectory and committing to it (yes, deep fear of commitment over here showing up in newly recognized ways).

Money doesn’t just love fast starts. It loves fast, clear, honest follow-through.

Money loves clarity.
It loves completion.
It loves when energy leads and lands.

This is individual to me, but certainly not unique (we all manifest and attract differently), but my manifestations work out when I choose an outcome. I know I want a car. I go get a car. Then the funds show up to support it. I know I want respite to pay some bills, take care of some business and feel safe. The opportunity comes forward. When I do decide, what I want shows up. The clarity that "waiting to see what happens" is (at least, for me) usually high level avoidance is my next gap to bridge, and I'm on it. 

As always, I'll keep you updated.